


Worth It

by ANoGoodPigeon



Series: What If... [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gaang (Avatar) as Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team as Family, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23797333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANoGoodPigeon/pseuds/ANoGoodPigeon
Summary: The first time Zuko bends lightning, he feels nothing.
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: What If... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724050
Comments: 81
Kudos: 1473
Collections: avatar tingz





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> What If: Zuko was capable for lightning bending
> 
> Whattup, times are weird and I've spent the past week staying up until 4AM every night rewatching AtLA and reigniting my love for Zuko
> 
> (un-beta'd bc listen, sometimes I just need the words to exist and then I have to never see them again)

The first time Zuko bends lightning, he feels nothing.

One second he'd been standing there, ears pumping with the surge of adrenaline that had kicked in the moment things had escalated, and the next he was floating. All sound had faded away in an instant as if someone had suddenly thrown a bag over his head. A cold trickle had spread from the tips of his fingers that were still pointed outward, down his arm and through his entire body like static. 

His vision had narrowed so tightly all he could perceive was himself and nothing else. It was terrifying. 

And then it was over.

There's an unnatural stillness in the air when he blinks back into the present. Dust and debris swirl around him as it settles. 

" _Zuko!"_

The first thing he becomes aware of is the slight tremor in his left hand as it drops to his sides, arms heavy as if weighted down. Reflectively, he tries to clench it but it's like the connection’s been cut. It doesn't move. He tries again, thinking harder, but it still doesn't move.

" _Somebody get him!_ "

The smell of seared flesh is the next thing to hit him. It's familiar in a way that pulls in the pit of his stomach. It’s acrid and reminds him of charcoal. He flinches and feels his breath catch in his lungs.

_"Zuko buddy, you've got to move!"_

He blinks again, and now he can hear the shouting. He doesn't know how long that's been going on but he feels the feather light touch to his shoulder and with a difficulty that's almost painful he turns his head, and sees Aang. 

There's worry in his eyes and something else that Zuko can’t understand. It makes him want to throw up. He looks down, unable to bear the weight of Aang’s stare but startles when Aang squeezes his arm and then gently but firmly pushes him behind him. Zuko watches, stunned, as Aang takes up a protective stance and yells with a voice that is shockingly furious.

“Everybody, _stop_!” 

Zuko watches the band of rogues that had caught them off-guard literally freeze as water shoots up from the ground to snare them in a wave of jagged ice that stands like pillars. A few are buffeted back by the gawl of wind that rushes from Aang’s hands, and even more are thrown down as a tremor erupts from his feet. 

The little that manage to avoid the majority of the attack crawl over themselves to escape. 

Zuko stares as Aang breathes in deeply, shoulders lifting and falling, again and again. In the distance he can hear the rumble of boulders smashing into the ground as Toph finishes the bunch that had snuck up behind them and he can hear Sokka yell.

“Aang, we’ve got to get out of here!”

It’s true, they’d been compromised. What had started out as routine emissary mission to one of the defunct Fire Nation colonies took a turn as they had been ambushed. It was supposed to have been a peace talk. A way to help settle control of the once Earth Kingdom village back into the hands of its people. But these things never went right. The officials they had been coming to negotiate with were nowhere in sight as they had been surrounded. 

It had made Zuko angry to see its citizens flee in terror as the group of men and women dressed in hues of red and orange started their attack. What was almost laughable was that Zuko could tell in an instant it was all a ruse. There was no control in their movements, lacking the training and experience of Fire Nation soldiers. No, it was just another plan to keep people afraid of and to propel the culture of hate and distrust in his people. 

And he was so _sick_ of it. 

Of course, that’s the moment he’d seen it. Their assailants hadn’t paid any heed to their targets, throwing fire in every direction with careless abandon, when a young girl and her mother found themselves in the crossfire. 

He saw the unbridled fear in their eyes as they threw themselves to the ground while a man towered over them with his fist raised, the telltale spark of flames springing from his fist. The mother, clutching her child to her chest, turned and locked eyes with him through the chaos of the battle. 

He had acted on instinct. 

He remembers the numbness as he lifted his hands with a cold sense of calm, sucked in a breath that he held in his lungs, and pointed his fingers. The air around him sparked with fury as his eyes took aim and he centered his bodyweight, breathing out a cloud of steam through clenched teeth. 

He hadn’t felt anything when it happened but the world stopped to watch as the eruption of pure livid energy exploded from his fingers with a clap of thunder that hit its mark.

Someone had screamed. Zuko didn’t want to think if that had been the girl or not. 

“Zuko, come on!” He feels Katara pull him forward, snapping him out of the memory, as Suki takes up position on his left hand side, fans out. He feels the feather-light weight again and doesn’t have time to react as Aang, in all his new-found height, all but lifts him into his arms and launches them into the saddle of Appa who has descended from the sky like a storm. 

“But,” his voice sounds far away and small, “the village.”

“Will be okay.” Aang snaps the reins and Appa lurches back into the air. “We need to get you out of here.”

“He’s right,” Zuko turns to stare at Katara as she leans over his arm, water glowing as it swirls around it. “Toph and the rest have it handled. We need to get you back to the palace so I can deal with this.”

“...This?” He finally looks down at his left hand, bright red and glistening. He blinks as he notices the nasty burn, rendering it all but useless, that stretches from the very tips of his fingers to his elbow. “Oh.”

“Zuko?” Katara’s question echoes in his head as he stares and keeps staring.

“Um, Katara, I think maybe he shouldn’t be--” Aang squawks as Zuko falls sideways.

“Zuko!”

His vision goes black.

____

Zuko wakes up to the chattering sounds of something sitting heavily on his chest.

_Momo?_

“Momo?” His throat aches but he manages to blink the fog from his mind, only to be met with two large eyes leaning in only about an inch away from his face.

Momo chatters some more and tilts their head. Zuko blinks.

“Um, hi?”

Momo screeches and takes off flying up and out of the room. Zuko watches him go, feeling like he’s missing something, before he pushes himself with some difficulty into a seated position. 

Going to support himself on his left side, he fumbles a bit as his arm refuses to move where it’s curled up against his chest and he feels himself start to panic before he realizes that’s because it’s held there by a wrap and bandaged from hand to elbow. He glances around the room and notices he’s back home, in one of the smaller rooms he’s converted to his chambers.

 _How..._ _what—Oh, right._

“Zuko!” His thoughts are interrupted as Aang hurls into the room and lands at his side with a rush of air that blows his hair around. His bedroll is laid out on the floor, so all Aang has to do is tuck his legs under him as he descends.

“Finally!” Toph walks in at a more moderate pace but promptly seats herself at Zuko’s feet, creasing the bedroll in her attempts to immediately make herself at home.

“Toph, be nice.” Katara wanders in and frowns, clearly disapproving of Zuko’s position but calmly walks forward to inspect the banadages. Zuko lets her as he notices Sokka and Suki stagger in with a few trays of food and drink. 

“Uh, we could use a hand.” Sokka frowns and Toph and Aang start clapping.

“Don’t worry Sokka, you’re doing great!” Aang grins. 

Sokka narrows his eyes and turns to Zuko accusingly. “You’re why he’s like this.” 

Zuko tilts his head. “Sorry?”

“You’re not.” Sokka haphazardly drops the trays down on the ground and kneels to join them. Suki places her trays down much more gracefully and pats him on the back.

“He isn’t.” She agrees cheerily, but takes a more at-attention squat by Zuko’s left-hand side. She turns to him, eyes creasing with worry.

“How are you?”

Zuko looks away from her. “Fine.”

“Mhm.” Katara responds, doubtful and leans back onto her heels. “I’m sure.”

Zuko glances at her and frowns. “Will I be able to use it?”

She matches his frown and crosses her arms. “I did the best I could. If you follow my instructions it should be fine in a few weeks. But--” She now looks away from him. 

He leans forward. “But?”

She purses her lips and turns back, eyes worried and apologetic. “I’m not sure it won’t scar.”

The others stay silent as he processes that. His thoughts are everywhere as his mind replays everything and then he looks towards Suki.

“How is he?”

She looks like she’s not going to respond, eyes narrowed and calculating, before she says, “He’s still unconscious but breathing. The doctors don’t know if he’ll make it.”

“Suki!” Katara hisses but Zuko appreciates her bluntness. It’s why he asked her. He looks at the blankets.

Aang’s hand reaches over to rest on his leg. “Is that the first time you’ve done it?”

Zuko follows the blue arrow up to eyes that hold that same emotion he was unable to identify earlier. He had thought it was disgust or fear, like Aang had realized just how much of a monster he truly was. But now, matching his gaze he realizes it’s neither. It was concern. Pure, unflinching concern for _him_. 

He nods a little. “Yeah. Could never do it before. Uncle tried to teach me but well, it takes a lot to do.” He shrugs. 

Aang nods though, as if he understands what’s left unsaid. Like he understands that lightning is not a firebenders technique. It’s a killer’s. 

“Will you be okay?”

“Of course Sparky’s gonna be okay!” Toph exclaims, leaning on her arms and staring at the ceiling. “Gonna take a lot more than that to take you down, right!”

She punctuates the last bit with an unsurprisingly solid punch to his legs which Katara shoots her a look for but Zuko feels himself smile slightly at. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He makes a face. “It’s not like I’m not used to this after all. What’s one more burn?”

Toph tilts her head. “What?”

He looks at her, unsure if she’s really asking him that before he remembers she’s never really _seen_ his face before. “My scar?”

Toph leans forward a bit, suddenly interested. “Really? Is it that bad? I always thought you guys were kinda joking.”

“Toph!” Aang looks at her, scandalized but she remains unapologetic. Zuko can’t help it. He starts laughing. 

Now they stare at him with a mix of worried looks as he clutches his sides, shoulders shaking. 

Sokka panics. “Great, you broke him!”

Katara’s hands hover, unsure what to do. “Maybe you should lie down.”

“No, no,” he tries to get his laughter in check but it’s a struggle, “I’m fine, really.”

“Maybe you should listen to Katara, Zuko.” Aang frowns. 

“I’m fine.” He tries to emphasize the last bit and has to wipe his eyes, a little clumsy with his right hand. “You know, it’s almost ironic that I’ve spent years trying to convince people I’m more than my scar and I literally had someone here who couldn’t even _see_ it. Do you want to know how big it is?”

“Zuko!”

Toph just shakes her head, ignoring Katara, concern brushing aside any faux paus he could say. “I don’t think--”

“—It takes up the whole left side. I’ve had it since I was thirteen.” He starts chuckling to himself again, his voice now a little hysterical. “Never got it looked at, can’t even really see out of it that well, you know. Point blank range does that I guess.”

Toph now looks thoroughly alarmed, voice small. “Um, Zuko--”

“--No, it’s okay. I’m okay.” He grins, a little lopsided. “Like I said, I’m used to it. Third time is nothing compared to this,” He gestures violently at his face.

“I mean,” Zuko laughs, “at least this time it wasn’t from a family member. Or maybe it’s ironic because I did it to _myself_.”

“--Zuko _stop_!” Aang’s voice breaks his ranting so he turns to him, still grinning madly. He only barely registers the horrified silence his words have created. Katara has her hands over her mouth and Sokka looks like he wants to murder someone. Suki rivals his look and Toph watches him with wide-eyes as she slowly puts together the meaning of his words. 

He’s said so much, too much probably, but he can’t stop so he thinks, _might as well say the rest_. He locks eyes with Aang and leans forward, grin curling into a sneer.

“You know what the hardest part was, Aang? Actually,” he tilts his head, “I’m pretty sure you do.”

Aang stares, jaw clenching, but refuses to take the bait. Instead, he keeps Zuko’s gaze as he says with a neutral tone. “What was the hardest part.”

Zuko watches him and finally sits back, mouth still twisted and teeth still bared. He huffs and shakes his head.

"The hardest part wasn’t getting burned.” He looks away as he feels the wild craze that had enveloped him start to ease. Awareness creeps back into him as he finally registers what he’s been saying and he frowns. 

He looks down at his lap and clutches the blanket in his hand as he says in a voice barely above a whisper, “It was getting up after." 

Zuko doesn't look up and no one says anything for a while, the words hanging in the silence until Aang very slowly, choreographing his movements to allow Zuko time to move away, wraps him up in a hug that’s gentle yet grounding. Zuko freezes as Aang tucks his head under his chin and then he laughs. He laughs until he starts to sob and throws his one good arm around Aang, burying his face in his robes. 

The others move as one as they all crowd around him and join the embrace. Katara makes sure her body is between his injured arm and the others, Sokka wraps himself around all three of them, Suki throws an arm around Zuko’s back, and Toph crawls up to cling to his right side. Together they shield Zuko from the world as he cries.

They sit like that for a while until his shoulders stop shaking. Eventually he just sits there, breathing in the scent of Aang and feeling the warm embrace of his friends. 

Careful not to jostle anyone he straightens and they all move back a little to let him. Embarrassed, he looks up at the ceiling. 

“Please,” his face is red, “don’t tell Uncle.”

Toph snorts and the rest chuckle as they all arrange themselves back into something a bit more relaxed. Zuko counts to ten and feels a soft hand land on his thigh. He looks to Aang who smiles, a little sadly.

“You did it to save someone.”

Zuko stares. 

“I also did it to kill someone.”

Aang contemplates that and nods. “Kiya, the little girl, told me to say thank you.”

Zuko blinks, mind going blank with a response. Aang just pats him again and offers him another sad smile, then moves over to join the others.

The ache in his chest and the tension in his body is still there. But as he looks down at his arm, bandaged and held to his chest, he feels something different. Something new. The bright red scarring that peeks out from the end of the bandages stand out against his skin. 

_Huh._

He thinks for the first time in his life, this one might be worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me, a child watching AtLA: Someone give that boy a hug!
> 
> Me, an adult watching AtLA: *I* will give that boy a hug!
> 
> If anyone wants to talk AtLA with me, get in the comments haha
> 
> It's been 15 years but at any moment in the day I am ready to discuss this series


End file.
